Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Misery Loves Company

Have you ever heard the saying, “Misery Loves Company?” Well, I’ve heard it all my life but never paid much attention to it until I became an adult. Guess what? It’s a true saying. Miserable people aren’t happy and you better believe they are going to try their best to make sure you aren’t happy either. Have you ever noticed the expression on an unhappy person’s face? Pay attention and learn. Their laughter lines are always forced outward into a fake smile. When I look at them, “Smiling Face, Sometimes by the Undisputed Truth” starts playing in my head. “Smiling faces tell lies they don’t tell the truth. A smile is just a frown turned upside down.” I muted the song and sigh because they aren’t lying about that. Before long that fake smile turns into a full frown right in front of your face; that’s when all those negative words start flying out of their mouths.

Miserable people will steal your joy if you aren’t careful. Two things I learned about a miserable person that stuck with me to this day; you better stay as far away from them as you can and you better not forget and let something dear to you slip out your mouth ,like sharing a special moment or a dream with them. Humph! They will shoot them down with a bazooka—shatter them to pieces right in front of your face. That day will be your worst nightmare.

I had this dramatic experience about three years ago. I had just got a rejection letter from a major publishing house telling me in details how to tweak my book. Everyone in the publishing business know that editors don’t send a detailed rejection letter—always a form letter. I wasn’t down but a bit bubbly and a little crazy happy because I knew there was still hope for my book. I talked to another writer’s friend, Jana about it and you’ll never guess what she said.

“Girl, I don’t see nothing so spectacular about your book anyway. You can find that kind of stuff anywhere. I sure wouldn’t pay money for it.” Jana said.
When I hung up that phone my head was spinning like a top. I felt like i had pulled a sixteen hour shift on a construction site in the rain! I went straight to bed and didn't shower. My body was drained from listening to all that negative junk--totally washed out.

When I finally calmed down the next day, and talked to another writer friend, Lisa, I realized that Jana was bitter because her self-published books weren’t doing well. She couldn’t get a contract and she was downright mad. As a matter of fact, the same words she threw on me, "You can find that stuff anywhere. I sure wouldn't pay money for it." is the exact same words the editors who looked at her work told her. Whew! I know sometimes there are miserable people in your family that you must deal with but hear this. Check in for a minute, handle your business and then check out within the next minute to keep from being sucked into all that negative junk. Whatever behaviors you are around the majority of the time are the ones that will be the most prevalent.

Some people are not happy with their lot in life because many of them don’t know what it is. That’s right, they haven’t found their purpose. For those that have figured out what their purpose is, they are either to lazy or scared to do something about it. Since some people don’t know what they need to be doing, or they are too scared or lazy to do it, then you know doggone well they aren’t going to be happy for your accomplishments. For miserable people a day is just another day to complain of how life have done them wrong. They will never see a new day as an opportunity to a better way. Soooo, they keep wasting valuable time hating on people that don’t even know they exist or people who could care less about their opinion.

I say to you! Stop wasting valuable time dealing with miserable people. Life is too precious and too fragile to dwell on negative junk. Handle it wisely. Why? Whatever you do today is crucial because it will be exchanged for a day of your life that God has given you. You cannot put life on lay-a-way, and you can never go back and get what you placed in that day. Make sure that whatever you leave in that day of your life is memorable and well lived.


  1. AMEN! I love a good read and this article definitely gave many valuable insights. Without being too harsh, your writers voice seemed firm, strong and confident about not allowing a person to transmute their pain into a happy person's life; it's draining. I also think it's important to help one another out but from a healthy vantage point instead of from an enabling vantage point that sucks you right in with them. Great read that came right on time! Thanx!

  2. Miserable people are dangerous people. My mechanic told me to test his theory and see how much truth i found in it and i did. I walked up in a crowd of people we knew and baby, they were throwing negative comments harder than a pitcher throws a fast curve ball. I mentioned some great things that we happening in the community like more young people going to college and the new low income housing program. They looked at me like i had grown two heads and got real quiet but before long they resumed the negative high balls. Guess what every last one of them qualify to get a new low income home but they are to miserable to take time to talk with someone that could help them. They'd rather waste valuable time hating on the ones that are moving forward and improving their quality of life.