Below are books that I feel every writer should have on their shelves. Believe me, my list is longer but I’ll stop with these.
The Marshall Plan for NOVEL WRITING by Evan Marshall (This is great for beginners)
Techniques of The Selling Writer By Dwight V. Swain
Creating Characters (How to Build Story People) by Dwight V. Swain
The Complete Writer’s Guide to HEROES & HEROINES (Sixteen Master Archetypes) by Tami D, Cowden, Caro LaFever, Sue Viders
The Career Novelist by Donald Maass
The WRITER’S JOURNEY by Christopher Vogler
Mastering Point of View by Sherri Szeman AND/OR Characters & Viewpoint by Orson Scott Card
Finding your VOICE by Les Edgerton
Writing Dialogue by Tom Chiarella
GMC by Debra Dixon
Roget’s Thesaurus (the latest editions)
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Monday, March 29, 2010
Ball of Confusion
Advice on Living
Sometimes life seems so complicated and lot of times it is. But for the most part, the decisions that we make or don’t make can help or intensify those complications. I have this unique personality that pushes me to explain almost everything that I say to others and I have them do the same to me.
A former co worker told me. “Everything don’t need to be explained. There are some things an intelligent person can figure out.”
I agree that there are a lot of things we can figure out but will they be accurate? I feel that when we assume too much then that’s when the trouble starts because to me assumptions are simply another form of miscommunication.
I think the best example I can think of is two people starting a relationship. When a woman is dating a man and she feels those butterflies in her stomach. He holds her hand tight and fondles her palm while they walk in the park. After that dinner date, he kisses her with so much passion until she feels her heart will stop. Do she automatically conclude that this man has some deep feeling for her? Most women would. But would that assumption be true? Think about it! In some cases maybe but not in all. Then how do you figure out if he cares? Some would simple ask and hope that he’s honest. Others women may take the relationship through a series of test and measure his response to those test as the answer.
Some Psychologist would say, “Just ask him. It’s your right to know what his intentions are.”
Sounds simple. I don’t care how simple something is, people just don’t always think to do it the way we think it should be done. Everyone is unique in their own way. I personally would ask the gentleman and watch the reaction in his facial expression. I would then do a follow up based on this along with his actions in other areas. But I know from experience that this doesn’t always work either. Women love and feel with their hearts while men are visual and connects love by the way a woman makes them feel through sexual intimacy. There are a few exceptions to the rule but…….I’ll leave it at this.
Okay, let’s go to the male side. Almost every man that I’ve ever talked to says that women are hard to understand and are unpredictable. “Women don’t know what they want and it leaves a man confused.” If I had a dollar for every time I heard this statement, I’d be RICH!
Now what is really going on here? What's the problem? Why can’t two adults get it together? Communication! Someone is taking and someone is not listening. Or someone is talking and someone thinks they understand and don’t ask questions.
Remember author, John Gray “Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus?” This book was a bestseller for a reason. John Gray understood that men and women makeup were so different, thereby causing a failure in communication. A Woman's mind just don’t operate like a man's and vice versa.
Women want men to know what they need. We don’t always want to tell them. We want them to think of those special things that put a smile on our face and remember what’s important to us. Telling them to do it takes the joy out of it! Men wish we would just tell them what we want and need and stop the guessing games.
Want to avoid confusion?” Ask questions, listen, and pay attention. Never assume anything because it’s dangerous and leaves the door wide open for a “Ball of Confusion.”
Sometimes life seems so complicated and lot of times it is. But for the most part, the decisions that we make or don’t make can help or intensify those complications. I have this unique personality that pushes me to explain almost everything that I say to others and I have them do the same to me.
A former co worker told me. “Everything don’t need to be explained. There are some things an intelligent person can figure out.”
I agree that there are a lot of things we can figure out but will they be accurate? I feel that when we assume too much then that’s when the trouble starts because to me assumptions are simply another form of miscommunication.
I think the best example I can think of is two people starting a relationship. When a woman is dating a man and she feels those butterflies in her stomach. He holds her hand tight and fondles her palm while they walk in the park. After that dinner date, he kisses her with so much passion until she feels her heart will stop. Do she automatically conclude that this man has some deep feeling for her? Most women would. But would that assumption be true? Think about it! In some cases maybe but not in all. Then how do you figure out if he cares? Some would simple ask and hope that he’s honest. Others women may take the relationship through a series of test and measure his response to those test as the answer.
Some Psychologist would say, “Just ask him. It’s your right to know what his intentions are.”
Sounds simple. I don’t care how simple something is, people just don’t always think to do it the way we think it should be done. Everyone is unique in their own way. I personally would ask the gentleman and watch the reaction in his facial expression. I would then do a follow up based on this along with his actions in other areas. But I know from experience that this doesn’t always work either. Women love and feel with their hearts while men are visual and connects love by the way a woman makes them feel through sexual intimacy. There are a few exceptions to the rule but…….I’ll leave it at this.
Okay, let’s go to the male side. Almost every man that I’ve ever talked to says that women are hard to understand and are unpredictable. “Women don’t know what they want and it leaves a man confused.” If I had a dollar for every time I heard this statement, I’d be RICH!
Now what is really going on here? What's the problem? Why can’t two adults get it together? Communication! Someone is taking and someone is not listening. Or someone is talking and someone thinks they understand and don’t ask questions.
Remember author, John Gray “Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus?” This book was a bestseller for a reason. John Gray understood that men and women makeup were so different, thereby causing a failure in communication. A Woman's mind just don’t operate like a man's and vice versa.
Women want men to know what they need. We don’t always want to tell them. We want them to think of those special things that put a smile on our face and remember what’s important to us. Telling them to do it takes the joy out of it! Men wish we would just tell them what we want and need and stop the guessing games.
Want to avoid confusion?” Ask questions, listen, and pay attention. Never assume anything because it’s dangerous and leaves the door wide open for a “Ball of Confusion.”
Giovanni's Woman
Giovanni’s Woman
I wanted to be a blade of grass amid the fields but you refused to be a dandelion.
I wanted to be like a robin singing amongst the leaves of the trees but you refused to be my tree
I spun myself into a web and looked for a place of rest but you refused to be my corner but instead chose to stand straight.
I tried to be a book but you wouldn’t read so I turned myself into a bulb and you still denied me growth
Finally, I decided to become a woman and you refused to be a man. That okay because I’m still going to become a woman even though you will not become a man.
What does this mean to me?
“She wanted to be a blade of grass and wanted him to be a dandelion,” suggest that she wanted to have freedom but she also wanted to be his support system. Grass grows along side of flowers but they don’t crowd the flowers out but allows room for growth.
“She wanted to be a robin singing though the leaves in a tree, but he refused to be her tree.” suggests that she would like for her man to be her resting place after a long day’s work or journey. Just as a bird who has traveled a far distance and sometimes from one place to another rests upon a tree before continuing on.
“She spun herself into a web looking for a place of peace but instead of being her corner, he stood straight.” Here the woman is in trouble or facing everyday problems or burdens of life and she looks to her man as a confidant but instead he turns away.
“She wanted to be a book but he wouldn’t read her then I turned myself into a bulb and you still denied me growth.” She tries to let him know how she feels but he refuses to make the effort to understand. She then humbles herself to him but he still denies her
Finally, she is tired of trying and wanting so she becomes a woman and doesn’t care if he becomes a man because she is tired of him making no effort to make her happy and she realizes that it is time that she made the effort to make herself happy.
I wanted to be a blade of grass amid the fields but you refused to be a dandelion.
I wanted to be like a robin singing amongst the leaves of the trees but you refused to be my tree
I spun myself into a web and looked for a place of rest but you refused to be my corner but instead chose to stand straight.
I tried to be a book but you wouldn’t read so I turned myself into a bulb and you still denied me growth
Finally, I decided to become a woman and you refused to be a man. That okay because I’m still going to become a woman even though you will not become a man.
What does this mean to me?
“She wanted to be a blade of grass and wanted him to be a dandelion,” suggest that she wanted to have freedom but she also wanted to be his support system. Grass grows along side of flowers but they don’t crowd the flowers out but allows room for growth.
“She wanted to be a robin singing though the leaves in a tree, but he refused to be her tree.” suggests that she would like for her man to be her resting place after a long day’s work or journey. Just as a bird who has traveled a far distance and sometimes from one place to another rests upon a tree before continuing on.
“She spun herself into a web looking for a place of peace but instead of being her corner, he stood straight.” Here the woman is in trouble or facing everyday problems or burdens of life and she looks to her man as a confidant but instead he turns away.
“She wanted to be a book but he wouldn’t read her then I turned myself into a bulb and you still denied me growth.” She tries to let him know how she feels but he refuses to make the effort to understand. She then humbles herself to him but he still denies her
Finally, she is tired of trying and wanting so she becomes a woman and doesn’t care if he becomes a man because she is tired of him making no effort to make her happy and she realizes that it is time that she made the effort to make herself happy.
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