Monday, March 29, 2010

Ball of Confusion

Advice on Living

Sometimes life seems so complicated and lot of times it is. But for the most part, the decisions that we make or don’t make can help or intensify those complications. I have this unique personality that pushes me to explain almost everything that I say to others and I have them do the same to me.
A former co worker told me. “Everything don’t need to be explained. There are some things an intelligent person can figure out.”
I agree that there are a lot of things we can figure out but will they be accurate? I feel that when we assume too much then that’s when the trouble starts because to me assumptions are simply another form of miscommunication.
I think the best example I can think of is two people starting a relationship. When a woman is dating a man and she feels those butterflies in her stomach. He holds her hand tight and fondles her palm while they walk in the park. After that dinner date, he kisses her with so much passion until she feels her heart will stop. Do she automatically conclude that this man has some deep feeling for her? Most women would. But would that assumption be true? Think about it! In some cases maybe but not in all. Then how do you figure out if he cares? Some would simple ask and hope that he’s honest. Others women may take the relationship through a series of test and measure his response to those test as the answer.
Some Psychologist would say, “Just ask him. It’s your right to know what his intentions are.”
Sounds simple. I don’t care how simple something is, people just don’t always think to do it the way we think it should be done. Everyone is unique in their own way. I personally would ask the gentleman and watch the reaction in his facial expression. I would then do a follow up based on this along with his actions in other areas. But I know from experience that this doesn’t always work either. Women love and feel with their hearts while men are visual and connects love by the way a woman makes them feel through sexual intimacy. There are a few exceptions to the rule but…….I’ll leave it at this.
Okay, let’s go to the male side. Almost every man that I’ve ever talked to says that women are hard to understand and are unpredictable. “Women don’t know what they want and it leaves a man confused.” If I had a dollar for every time I heard this statement, I’d be RICH!
Now what is really going on here? What's the problem? Why can’t two adults get it together? Communication! Someone is taking and someone is not listening. Or someone is talking and someone thinks they understand and don’t ask questions.
Remember author, John Gray “Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus?” This book was a bestseller for a reason. John Gray understood that men and women makeup were so different, thereby causing a failure in communication. A Woman's mind just don’t operate like a man's and vice versa.
Women want men to know what they need. We don’t always want to tell them. We want them to think of those special things that put a smile on our face and remember what’s important to us. Telling them to do it takes the joy out of it! Men wish we would just tell them what we want and need and stop the guessing games.
Want to avoid confusion?” Ask questions, listen, and pay attention. Never assume anything because it’s dangerous and leaves the door wide open for a “Ball of Confusion.”

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